Friday, May 22, 2009

Swine flu... or another media pandemic.

First, before I get too far into this, I have to show you what I mean when I say - you REALLY need to understand women. Especially when it comes to gifts. I thought this was funny, because I actually know a woman or two who wouldn't hesitate to do it. (Present company excepted, of course.) Take a look....

I guess some guys really ARE that dumb. Get her the diamond - it'll make her happy AND shut her up. Or you could just go through life with a dent in your forehead - kind of the scarlet letter of dumb-ass.

Speaking of pigs - oh, like you guys have never been called that - you haven't? Well, then you're one of those hopeless romantics, the kind of gentleman who always puts his woman's (if he has one) every whim first, who worships the ground she walks on. A feminist's favorite. A fag. (I don't mean gay, either... gay men have more self respect than that.) Oh, where was I? Right. Pigs. Free associate to...

Swine flu. H1N1, or whatever you want to call it. What bullshit. Malaria and AIDS are wiping out people left and right - you might hear about it once a year. A fucking FLU - something that comes out every year like a new model car - hits and kills a couple of old people and kids and it's a viral ARMAGEDDON! Know why? Because you'll never see malaria anywhere near a CNN broadcast center, that's why. It's diarrhea and boogers, for Crissakes! Get over it and worry about the REAL diseases!

It's the stupidity of the whole thing. One styrofoam head gets the fucking sniffles and they close down a whole school. Oh yeah. The kids are loving that. Pretty soon they're gonna shut down the whole country - oh, wait. Mexico already did that. Never mind.

So here's what Swine flu looks like in Saskatchewan - and I think Wisconsin, too. I cleaned it up a little - the original image was too hideous.

(stage 3 - beyond the cure.)

Now if we had a worldwide epidemic of THAT -then we would have reason to run to the hills and wear useless paper masks. It's the mainstream media... they got bored and needed something to run with. The President isn't fucking up enough to make the news, so they jumped on this. Pathetic. Don't we have enough OCD types without the media making them agorophobic too?

It brings me to this as well... well the photo does. Don't people who pose for this shit - or for that matter, amateur porn - even realize that once it hits the net, it's out there forever? They're all gonna laugh at you. Especially me. At least try and make yourself look good. Every day i get requests on Twitter from these barely legal 'ho wannabes inviting me to their MySpace (where you can get some form of cyber STD) or adult dating site profile. Ten years from now they're going to go into the job interview of a lifetime, and the guy giving the interview is going to recognize her. Or maybe her fiance will catch her online doing a threesome with two guys that equal four of him. Either way, she's fucked.

And this time, she won't like it. But hey.... there's always a new flu...

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