Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
This guy is a total no bullshit lawyer. I'd hire him.
So it's been awhile, I know. Lord knows there's enough stupidity to make fun of, but I haven't had much in the way of time (hey, I got a life too!) Just the same, I recently found myself with available time and while watching TV, I realized there were more dumb ads than I thought. Then I thought about it. Over time, some of the best dumb ads were in print. Now before you scroll down and start looking at these, be aware that some are pretty offensive. And that's before I add my caption. I didn't make these up, just showing you a reflection of stupidity over time. Some is just ignorance. So if you're offended easily, run like hell to your Strawberry Cheesecake Online game or something. This is for grownups.
Okay, warning over.
Some of the ads reflect things that at one time were considered beneficial, like drugs:
|Effectively treats... does that mean give you?|
|Yup, over the counter at your local pharmacist. Cost - 10 cents. Addiction - free. Priceless.|
|This is partially true (ask a German,) but no more than one a day and only if it follows the Reinheitsgebot. They can't even pronounce that in Milwaukee.|
|Possible side effects include: Grandpa not making it to the next Thanksgiving dinner, leaving an open spot at the big table. Okay, one dose.|
|This was fine till toothless people showed up complaining about toothaches.|
|How the Marlboro man got his start.|
|Maybe to knock the shit out you for blowing smoke in her face...|
|At least until the emphysema kicked in... Believe it... or Not!|
|Yeah, he only sent them to Democrats.|
|Okay, she likes'em long. I had to say that.|
|Coca Cola... the original Ritalin.|
|It's Schlitz. It would taste better if she did.|
|Yes, it's the same famous plus size store. See how they changed it?|
|People's exhibit 1: This is why Mary sweetened his coffee with cyanide.|
|Yeah, it's horrible. But someone went to great trouble to make sure Rastus had excellent handwriting for an illiterate.|
|Really? Someone didn't give the 19th century pinhead the memo...|
|If he thinks she'll be happier with a Hoover at Christmas, I hope he doesn't expect one of his own.|
|The absolute worst. By the way... I didn't know the Jacksons did soap ads... Jermaine... Tito... and Micheal with his original nose.|
|And as you can see, it's capable of withstanding a strike of at least two torpedoes.|
|Who wants a pussy that just lays there?|
|All new, the 1968 iPhone.|
Lastly, I found some oddities and things that didn't totally fit in (or that I forgot.)
Enjoy the last set, and understand that ignorance will always become fodder for jokes.
|Guess it gives new meaning to feeling like shit.|
|Ad from when Coca Cola used coca leaf in their soda. Most popular slogan at the time: "Say hello to my li'l friend!"|
|Yup, they had them even then. I thought it meant something else till I saw the puppet.|
|For the 40's housewife who got tired of FUCKING HOOVERS!!!!|
|Welll... maybe not the stupid ones...|
|Yes, Lysol made a douche. And yes, it protected against H1N1.|
|There ya go. Proof that Ovaltine makes you gay.|
|I've had mine called a few things, but never Sega.|
|Old ad for Italian babies.|
|Hmm. I guess prison was a happier place in the 50's.|
|They probably were, since 1950's tampons were about the size of 1950's computers.|
That's it for now... tune in for more offensive fun!
Brought to you by...
|Buy one, get one free... one for each end!|
Friday, December 24, 2010
Merry Christmas from da Barrio, Holmes…
Lemme introduce da first Christmas to you… it ain’t da way they tell it, esse…
First, you got Jose. He thinks he da baby daddy but he not.
Da baby mama, she be Maria. And then da baby, (yeah, there’s two) Jesus, (like hey – Seuss, bro) and his unknown twin, Juan. Juan became a plumber.
Den, you got da Tres Amigos – they brought presents an’ shit like tacos, burritos, and tequila.
Da dudes wit’ wings – they da Border Patrol. No helicopters back then.
Da homey wit’ da sheep is Juan Valdez, Jose’s cousin from Columbia. He said he brought coffee… I dunno.
The camel? Well hey man, everybody knows – that’s da first Lo – Rider! See da purple seat cover gold trim an’ tassels? Can hold all of them, man…
Now you know da True story of da first Christmas, man…
Happy Holidays from Kim and Ed!