Sunday, May 24, 2009

Dogsitting and Running a Prison...

... are a lot alike. Now I'm not reducing those incarcerated to the level of dogs (or worse, vice versa,) but it's true. I found that out this weekend. Some prisons are too small and overcrowd quickly. I live in a side-by-side (in American - a duplex. Duplex has a different layout here.) If it were a jail, it would be something akin to a County lockup. You get the idea.

So, in keeping with the prison theme, we have a boxer and a pug. Actually, I don't have either of them, but the boxer, Zeus, thinks he's mine, unless there's someone else with food or his real owner comes home. My dog, Lancy, is a cocker spaniel (see pic on this site.) Not the prison type - he wouldn't do well here. Both dogs are fighting breeds (yes, pugs are fighters - that's why they have no nose and are so fucking ugly. They are tenacious and have major cojones, though. They'll fight anything and not stop. I guess I would too if my name was Chachi.) These guys are the lifers. They're here for the duration. We'll call them the Zuzu Crew.

Well, the Zuzu Crew run the place, have all the priveleges and regular mealtimes and go into lockdown at night. Like prison. It's actually cheaper to feed human prisoners, though (some federal pens can do it for 1.50 a day - these two are about 3.00 a day, without treats.) Probably tastes better than prison food, too.

So we get a call. A new set of prisoners are on the way - or, my girlfriend's other daughter is coming up from the states and bringing her sweet dogs. "Really, they just sleep all the time, and they're not that big. Pups." Well, that, and I get to meet her other daughter. Okay, cool. For a carton on American smokes.

Like prison.

The new dogs arrive. I can almost hear the cries of "fish!" from the Zuzu Crew when they get here... and they're a pair of Great Danes. Fuuuck. Didn't build a stable for these horses. We all get aqcuainted in the back yard while the dogs run about, setting up their heirarchy. Like prison.
Zeus, head of the Zuzu Crew, tried to establish that he was the alpha dog. Even tried to fuck the other two, but A. he wasn't tall enough, and B. hard to establish yourself as a stud when you're trying to fuck a dog's forehead. Doesn't inspire confidence.

The other crew - now known as the DD Crew (DD = two Danes) fought back. They adopted Chachi as their mascot. Soon Zeus found himself as the prison bitch (see below...)

It wasn't pretty. The DD Crew did a beat-down while Chachi got his revenge. All the leader of the Zuzu Crew do was take it. In the ass. Like prison.

The DD Crew have an advantage - they know they're short-timers. They're heading back to the freedom of Nebraska soon, and the Zuzu Crew will once again run the asylum. Chachi better watch his ass.

Like prison.

No comments:

Post a Comment