Birthday BBQ at Levera beach and an experiment in gullibility...

Tiny Paradise in a big sea...

Map of Grenada - the road trip, from Grand Anse to Levera Beach... long drive!

So here it was, the day after the wedding. We woke up and went to breakfast, chatting about the day ahead - a beach barbecue (or barbeque, depending on where you're from) for Len's birthday. A large tour bus showed up and we ambled out, dressed for the day - and it rained. I mean - raaaaiiiiinnnned. Did that stop us? Hell no! This is Grenada! It don't rain all day here!

Looka de crazy people on de bus... goin' to de beach in de rain. Stupid tourists.

Ummm... we were wrong.

Outside Gouyave - out of focus because of - you guessed it - rain.

Even the cows didn't want to be out in this...

...but I don't think this guy had a choice.

The Grand View staff raced on ahead of us in separate vehicles with the food, and we cruised along the narrow roads in this large silver bus. It was a long ride, and you can't do that without a pit stop - translated, someone has to pee. And smoke. Or both. But not at the same time. Trouble is, there's not a lot of places to pop into (like a McDonald's) where you can unload a bus of people and have them line up. So... we stopped at a police station.

Bet this town never thought they'd play host to the Urinator...

After a brief discussion and a few pee-pee dances, they let those of us who had to go, go. Funny... when I was standing outside having a smoke, I saw a cop car pull up with someone in the back. They let him hang out in the car while they went inside for a minute. Different mentality - the guy just rolled down the window and stayed there. I don't know about Canada, but you'd never see that in the states... he wasn't even bothered being back there. Oh well. It is an island - where's he gonna go?

To most people this is the island off Levera beach, a beautiful place ( I think Gilligan is still there.)

Water crashing on the rocks... I think I saw a volleyball with a face drawn on it there...

Then, as we closed in on Levera beach, the miracle of miracles happened - the rain stopped! Though there were some clouds, the sun shone through, and it looked like we were gonna have a fun day. Speaking of fun, this is where Amanda, a.k.a. Sunshine, comes in. The target: Gabrielle, her cousin.

Gabrielle, doe eyed and gullible as a trout in a fishing pond.

It started the night before, when we were headed up from the wedding. She noticed that her watch time didn't correspond to the SUV's clock and said she didn't understand why she couldn't get the right time. "That's because time as we know it doesn't exist here," I replied innocently, meaning that you don't pay attention to the clock there like you do at home. Time literally doesn't feel like it exists. I didn't expect her reaction, though.

"Really? Serious?"
Oh, I got a nibble. Tee-hee.
"Seriously. They don't have time here. No calenders, clocks, nothing. You didn't notice?"
The big doe eyed look.
"No really. Serious?"
Pause. A tug on the line.
"Oh yeah, that's why your watch doesn't work here."
She looks at Kim in the front seat, then back at me. Kim smiles and shrugs her shoulders.
"Wow..."
Reel it in!
So you know I had to have more fun with her the next day.

...but actually, it's Amanda's Island. And she kicked Gilligan off.

It started when we stepped off the bus. Gabrielle was right behind me and saw the island. "Wow," she said. "What do they call that?" she asked, pointing to the island.
I cast the line. Looked at Amanda.
"Oh, that's Amanda's island. "
Doe eyes again. Almost felt like I had Bambi in a 10x gunsight. I smiled.
"What? That's Amanda's? Serious?"
Clear shot. (Notice how I switch to hunting?) Amanda nods, almost as if on cue.
"Yup," Amanda says casually. "Grandad gave it to me."
Long pause as the tiny gears of her 15 year old mind grind along, trying to comprehend the information.
"Serious?"
Now Amanda sights her down too. She grins at me. Something conspiratorial, almost evil in a fun way.
"Oh yeah,"she replied. " That's all mine. "
BLAM! BLAM!
We both struck at the same time and she fell for it like a deer at a salt lick.
"Wow... holeee..."
Later I told Kim about it, and she decided to get a shot in. See, there's another island -

That's Annette... and in front of her, Annette's Island. Gilligan never went there.

- so Kim added to the fun. As they set up the boat...

The boat... almost pretty enough to be an oil painting. Wait... it usually is!

Kim and I started talking withing earshot of Gabrielle. We chatted about Amanda's Isle (actually I think it's called Sugarloaf) and Kim, without missing a beat, pointed out Annette's island. Annette was standing nearby and didn't comment (Kim already told her about it) and kept a totally straight face. Gabrielle listened, nearly broke her own neck looking over at the islands, and muttered...
"Wow..."
Sucker.
Yeah, it's not fair to play that on a fifteen year old. Sort of. But she's fifteen. No one can be that gullible. Or can they? Later that night, she came up and said tha she found out it wasn't Amanda's Island. How could it be?
"Oh, it's part of the estate. Mr. Griffith's an important man here. You want to see the deed and title? I can get him to show you," I replied.
Silence for a moment.
"Wow..."
Like fishing with dynamite....

Soon the grill was set up in the boat and Emanuel was cooking-

Emanuel and Aunty Linda making wings and potato salad in the boat/grill. Damn good food... and Emanuel is one of the best chefs I've ever met. Hilarious, too.

- and making some of the best wings I've ever eaten. And I'm a wing eater from way back. We all enjoyed the meal -

A montage of life as it should be. Fun and never ending.

Anthony, or GT, (left) one of Len's main staffers - the guy can fix anything. Center - Ann, and the man of the day, Len (right.)

Len, watching the beach and making sure those kids didn't engage in too much stupidness. (Yeah, he looks casual, but he always does. Don't doubt for a minute that the man isn't on top of things.)

And there's the ever present beach dog... we fed him bits of chicken.

- and had some fun on the beach. The water was great, and there were activities on the beach, like making a "Sandman"...

Jordan (under the sand) lays calmly as Ian (center) and his brother Micheal and sister "Gullible" Gabrielle make him into a "he-man!"

Or... maybe a she-male. (Yes, if you look reeeaaalll close... you can tell.)

...or just doing things in the sand.

Liz, a.k.a. "Taxi Girl", trying to dig her way to freedom in Switzerland.

Pretty soon it was time to make the long journey back. So everyone settled into the bus...

Gabrielle dreams of the day she can get her own island...

Emanuel (dude, I hope I'm spelling your name right,) and GT took off ahead of time. We deliberately delayed a bit, then piled back on the bus. The ride back was a bit quieter. People were recharging their batteries (oddly enough, mostly the younger among us.) I took a few pics, some of historic significance.

A 153 year old cathedral, now a ruin, is still beautiful.

A couple of damaged Cuban planes still line the old airfield, a reminder of the past. What you call it depends on who you are. I call it old planes.

Some were just remarkable.

The valley leading down toward Grenada's Sports Stadium. Hell of a drop...

We made it back with one more stop (to pee, of course) and everyone split off to their rooms. Dinner was at eight, but the restaurant was going to be closed. That didn't mean the kitchen wasn't busy, however.

Emanuel and Kellan (the other chef, also awesome) were busy setting up a buffet for a party. Rachel, the Pirate's Cove bartender, arranged it. You know how hard it is to keep a secret in a fishbowl? We pulled it off, though... total surprise. Len had no idea... as far as we know.

Tuck, (left) our resident rum "expert," leads the charge in a surprise welcome into the sports bar, where the party was held.

Kim lends a hand serving up goodies alongside Kellan (midright.)

The food came out, and soon the party was underway... and Rachel brought out the cake.

Wait.... I'm older than seven...where's she gettin' her information?

Len, a happy man on a happy day. Thanks for everything...

The night was great, and we all had a wonderful time. The food was excellent, and the guys at the Jolly Roger Sports bar were terrific in helping us out. Since is the last blog post about the visit, I wanted to thank everyone there for their hard work and just being great people to be around. And to GT - bumps.

Sponsored by...

Testamints gum - because you never know when you're going to meet Jesus, and you'll want minty breath when you do!!

(This is a real product, but the ad isn't. In fact, I'm probably going to hell for it.)

Fun and "Stupidness", The day before... and the Wedding!

Lovers in Paradise.

Annette and Brandon, the newlyweds. Love this shot.

Before we get into this tale, I want to thank Khara and Emir, the wedding photographers for catching some really nice shots. The link to their site is posted at the end of this blog.

Why were we here again?

Time was flying, and we were so busy doing important things like -

shopping...

and posing...

...and more shopping...

..and posing in front of cool places while we smoked...

Kim, Len, Me, and a stray girl we called Sam.

...or even hanging out in the restaurant on breezy evenings. I personally was not adverse to bringing my own version of tomfoolery, or borrowing Len's word - stupidness - in just for fun.

Rum makes you wear silly hats and look like a... Stupid Tourist. Thanks to Rachel (with the rum)- she's a great person!

So here we are, in Paradise, and there seems to be no calendar, no clocks. Time is abstract there. Then it hit us... oh shit! The wedding... when is that? Turned out - two days. We actually only had a vague idea of what was gonna happen, and no clue as to when. Fortunately, we came to the room to find -

Preplanned fun for everyone!

- an itinerary for the wedding activities had been delivered. Glanced at it and realized - this was gonna be fun!

The Day Before...

For the guys, the day started as normal. There wasn't anything really scheduled for us, but the girls had a whole day planned out : Spa day, followed by decorating the cake. The cake layers were actually baked in the restaurant, and we brought fondant (shapeable frosting) down from here. I think half our luggage was stuff for the wedding.

The bride has arrived... you may take your seats.

One of the rooms were set up for an aromatherapy/massage, and just below it, at poolside, the women were able to get manicures and pedicures.

Annette looking regal during her pedicure with her friend Amanda alongside.

The guys? We just did whatever. The day wouldn't start for us till later that afternoon. I did hang out at the pool later (yes, there's a pic of that - no, I won't post it. Even I have limits.) After the women pretty much wrapped up there, some of them met in the hotel conference room with the cake, fondant, beer, and "Sunset Juice."

The bride's party decorating the wedding cake with Carib on the side...

The guys - well, we had it a little harder. Open tab at the sports bar, and free pool.

Kim's cousins Neal, Langston, and her cousin Carol's (a.k.a. Urkel) husband shooting a round. Yup, slot machines.

Roman hammering a shot in...

...and the one he almost made. Like standing a dime on it's edge. He begged me not to take this picture. Now they all know, Roman...

Ian, Kim's nephew, goes for the long eight - and scratches. That's okay. I remember when I had my first beer.

A few hours later, we all met in the restaurant for dinner and...

Annette, Kim, and Amanda... my baby and her babies. (Shut up. I liked that.)

... crab races! Crab races? What the hell are you talking about, Ed? It's pretty much what it sounds like. You clear the tables, make a big chalk circle on the floor, and get the racers -

The racers - hermit crabs. They look like rocks, but they move. Unless you have money on them.

The guy running the race takes bets, and they turn the bowl over in the center of the circle with the crabs underneath. There are three races: fastest, slowest, and one where only one person can bet on the crab they pick. The big money race. Then they get a kid to lift the bowl. Brandon's son, Reese, did it first.

4 year old finds a way to get rid of crabs - full story at 11!

I did good the first race - won twenty bucks. Broke even on the second, because my retarded ass crab decided just before he won that he wasn't gonna be the last one out. Okay, still good. Bet it all on crab 5, a fair sized power crab. He'll turn these other guys into bisque. What I didn't know was that when the bowl came up, he'd have a passenger. Kim's sister, Liz, had a crab too, and it was riding mine! He couldn't take the load, though he came in second. Liz's daughter, Brynn, won. I still sense conspiracy.

Annette, attending Crab Race Downs.

The race I won - 2-1 odds.

The next morning we went to breakfast, and being rainy season, we half expected some form of deluge. It comes in hard, pounds the place, then is over in minutes. Usually only once a day. Usually. Preparations began. The kitchen went into overdrive as the day crew began moving the stuff needed to Morne Rouge beach.

Morne Rouge beach, where the wedding was held.

Same tree with paper lanterns... and no event would be complete without a Grenada beach dog!

While they were preparing the site, they set up paper lanterns in the trees. The lanterns had little led lights that made them glow, but everyone forgot one thing. Batteries. The race was on. In the end we managed to gather 96 AAA's....

Assorted goodies, including the cake and rum punch.

The aisle...

Everything was perfect. Beautiful. Everybody began to get ready in their rooms...

Brandon getting his son Reese ready...

Amanda doing her big sister's hair on her important day...

All dressed up and ready to go!

Annette's so happy she appears to be floating. No, wait.... she IS floating!

I didn't see what was going on - they were in the floor above me. So was Kim.

Even I suited up. (Hey, it is Narcissism Central... I even took this myself. No surprise.)

Unfortunately, though most everyone invited showed, Annette's special VIP guests - the Baroness Bronte Beatrice VonBlatt and her brother, Baron Bosworth Beaucefus VonBlatt were unable to attend.

The VonBlatts only fly First Class.

American Airlines insisted that they remain seated for the duration of the flight, not realizing that they are not allowed on the furniture. They did get their money back, though.

Soon everyone was ready... and then it rained. Not any kind of rain. A total fucking deluge. Not good. Fortunately, it only lasted about ten minutes. Unfortunately, it destroyed the lights in the paper lanterns. So much for the batteries. With the wedding about an hour and a half away, we could only hope that everything would dry off. It did.

The entourage exits the preparation area.

We approach the beach and are greeted by this...

Says it all....

What's a Caribbean wedding without steel drums?

The wedding wasn't conventional in the sense that there wasn't a row of turquoise taffeta bridesmaids and overdressed ushers. The wedding party was of three: Annette, Brandon, and Reese. Reese? The boychild? What was he, the ringbearer? No... he was literally part of the wedding. The bond was of three. I found that refreshing.

Len giving away the bride.

Listening as the pastor speaks...

Most often, when a couple marries and a child is involved, the child is either relegated to the front row or maybe given a token task. Reese was an actual part of the bond formed that day...

"I love you when you're sweaty, and way too gross to hold..."

...as Annette, Brandon and Reese read a a book they made called "I love You When"... a touching and funny moment. The caption above is an actual line from the book. After that, they did something else I have never seen...

Finalizing the bond between them.... with spice necklaces.

Grenada is the "Spice Isle," so it only seemed natural to use necklaces made of spices to demonstrate the family bond. It was unique, and while I don't know for sure if it's a common thing there, it is definitely something I would include in a wedding... goes beyond just a pair of gold bands, and the child is part of it as well. Plus, they smell nice.

Then came the scene we are familiar with... like reading of the vows (though they added a comedic touch to it) -

"..if you accept the terms and conditions of this licensing agreement..."

Okay, maybe she didn't actually say that. Then there were the rings -

"With this ring I accept the terms of the licensing agreement..."

Okay, he didn't say that, either. Just seemed to fit, and sometimes I can't stop. Finally, they kissed, locking the bond between them.

And so begins their life together... as husband and wife.

Annette's bridal shoes - she lives in Nebraska. Ruby slippers... girl's got a sense of humor.

A great beginning for some great people.

The reception was held on the beach, with buffet style hors d'oeuvre - everything from lobster salad to samosas to shrimp and chicken kabobs and too many other foods to name. The Grand View kitchen staff really came through...

The buffet table... unbelievably good food!

There was one more formality, the witnessing -

Li'l sis Amanda signs off on the witnessing as the pastor, Brandon, and Annette look on.

Everyone made it through the buffet line, got their drinks, and champagne was brought around. It was time to toast the bride and groom, and the man to do it was Len. The man is funny...

Len proposing the toast just as..

..and as he hit his funniest line, there was a huge BOOM! And this is what we saw -

Ironic that the wedding took place on the 4th of July...

A full blown fireworks display. It was unbelievable, and a total surprise. One of the final events after the display was the cake cutting, also a family event.

Reese cuts the first slice.

Not long after that, we all went back up to the hotel for an after party - just a few drinks at the sports bar. It was a great day, a great event, and everything - including the fireworks - was handled by the Grand View Inn. Thanks. It was a day that none of us will ever forget.

And Annette, Brandon, and Reese? I wish you all a wonderful life together... and maybe the VonBlatts will get to Grenada one day, too.

If they can lay on the floor.

Much love to the two of you...

images courtesy of kabloom studios where so indicated by watermark.

Sponsored by:

"The Morne Rouge" or "Sunset Juice"

free poured shot or so of rum (none of that measured shit)
REAL juice or juice blend - preferably orange, mango, and passionfruit
club soda
Ting (where available) or Sprite

In a tall glass, drop in some ice, pour the rum, add some club soda (till the bubbles rush up,) then add some juice till you get about an inch and a half from the top. Top it off with Ting, stir, and enjoy!

Best made with:

Westerhall Plantation Rum and Ting Grapefruit soda... two of Grenada's many fine beverages.